A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
