i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
