Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
How's work?
Spinning.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
