3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
