If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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