Well apparently he's into motor boating.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
