Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So much rum. So many feels.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
