I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
