just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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