I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
