well you can't waste a boner
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
