When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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