So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
