How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
