Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
