I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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