I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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