I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
