..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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