Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
What a dumb baby whore.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
