he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
