Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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