Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
