i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
