is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So squirting runs in the family.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
