That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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