This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
did i just pee glitter
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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