I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
