We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
