I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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