I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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