the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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