dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
