whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
