honey bunches of taint.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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