so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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