I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
