i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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