You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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