sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
