worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
