My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
