He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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