Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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