There is no way he is gay with that hair.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
