last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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