So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
