I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
