I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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