I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
