Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Randomize
